1.7 Love comes, love goes

From now on, there was not a single day Anna didn’t spend with Jo. His presence made her feel more alive than she had ever felt before. Due to the compared sizes of their houses, they mostly met at his place. At one of those dates that later inevitably ended in the bedroom, she was officially introduced to Jo’s roommate, Chuck. He seemed like a nice and quiet guy, who just was really interested in horses – just like Jo.

One day, when Jo was busy at work longer than expected, Chuck and Anna politely started a conversation. She, being all dressed up, at first didn’t feel comfortable around this man she barely knew, but soon changed her mind. Chuck always seemed to know what she was thinking and it got easier to talk to him every minute. More than one time she caught his gaze wandering over body, and somehow she liked it. It was confirmation that she was looking pretty, which was a huge boost for her self-esteem. The last weeks had proven to her that she didn’t need to hide anymore. Sure, the nightmares came back every now and then, but with Jo’s help she slowly learned to fight them. Although she had not told him everything that had happened to her in the past, she had talked to him about enough of it to make him aware of her hurt soul. The way he treated her made her feel special in a good way, for the first time in ages. She was Anna Vocis, a nature-loving young woman who had all her life to live. It no longer mattered what she once had been. She lived in the now.

Chuck approved of Anna’s (new) open-mindedness. When Jo had first told him about the new love of his life, she had sounded fairly boring; this seemed like a completely different person. Anna laughed at his jokes, asked him questions and seemed genuinely interested in his hobby, the horses. From time to time, it almost seemed like she was flirting with him, teasing him.

Completely forgetting that Jo could come home any minute, Anna started shamelessly flirting with Chuck. He adored her, this was obvious by now, and she wondered why she shouldn’t take advantage of that. It was not like anybody would be harmed by a few innocent jokes and a couple of smiles. She had earned this, hadn’t she?! It was finally time for people to recognize her as the woman she desperately wanted to be. A strong woman who could stand up for herself. A beautiful woman who could control men by snapping with her well-manicured fingers. A self-confident woman who finally could make this town her town.

When they heard the distinctive sound of hooves fast approaching the farm, Anna quickly backed off. After all, she didn’t want to hurt anybody. Flirting didn’t count, but everything beyond it did. Chuck thought differently, he already considered this to be cheating in a mild form. Now that her spell on him had been broken by Jo’s arrival, he suddenly realized that this was wrong. He shouldn’t be flirting with his roommate’s girlfriend, even if she was the most mysterious and captivating woman he had ever met in his long life in Appaloosa Plains.

To distract Jo from the strained atmosphere between her and Chuck, Anna ran over to the kitchen to make some dinner. Jo was a regular guy: steak with potatoes and lots of gravy were the right things for him in the evening. What was entirely missing on his personal menu were vegetables every now and then. Anna knew that she couldn’t make him eat five portions of fruit and vegetables every single day, but a lovingly arranged plate with three different kinds of salads, peppers, cucumber and mushrooms was not too much to ask. Especially when it came with a pretty lady as dessert.

She also tried to trick him into eating fish every other day, as a healthier alternative to steak. Unfortunately, she was not very gifted when it came to fishing. Anna spent hours and hours at different ponds, trying to catch a single fish. The first one was so small she could barely see it – she generously released it again. At this rate, she would not have enough fish for an entire dinner within a week. As quickly as the plan had arisen, it was cancelled.

Between taking care of Jo at his farm and her job there was rarely any time left to take care of her growing garden. The products she harvested were stored in her fridge, until she picked them up on a quick trip home, before she headed to his place again. She and Chuck barely talked, and he successfully managed to stay out of the house most evenings.

During this time, the nightmares got worse. They always were the same – she was in her home, desperately fighting a fire in her kitchen. All she had was a crooked fire-extinguisher that didn’t work properly, and nobody heard her screaming. She never managed to control the fire; it always got out of hand. When she tried to turn around and run, she found herself bound to the floor by some sort of intense gravity. Soon, her screams died away and turned into sobs. Nobody heard her, and nobody came to rescue her from this unnaturally bright kitchen.

Whenever Anna woke up from tears streaming down her face, she silently lay in bed for a few minutes, eyes wide open. The past was supposed to be buried, but it started to come back. What had happened in her life that made her feel helpless again?

She never was able to get back to sleep right after the dreams, so she used the free time that was forced upon her for her garden. It expressed its gratitude by flourishing in beautiful colors. The apples were red and shining, the salad almost beamed in a strong green. Even the reluctant monkshood had opened its leaves and revealed a frail pink.

Her successes in the garden brought in some extra money which she got from the local grocery store. Anna grew more vegetables than she could possibly process, therefore she sold a part of them.

One of those days, when she stepped out of the store after a successful sale, she almost tripped over Benjamin Schmidt, who she hadn’t seen for a long time. Ever since she had gotten together with Jo, she had tried to ban Benjamin from her memory, and it worked most of the time. Now that his eyes locked with hers, she could practically feel her heart beating faster again. She loved Jo, she was aware of that. But Benjamin draw her to him in a way she couldn’t explain.

When she kissed him right there, in the middle of the street, both of them were surprised. Benjamin knew what effect he had on women, but until now he had thought that she had chosen another guy over him, considering that she never called. Anna felt brave and incredibly weak at the very same time. This was a man who endangered her happiness, but who also completed it. This didn’t make any sense, yet it was completely logical.

They stood there, refusing to let go of each other, for at least half an hour. Neither of them was aware of the paparazzo standing right behind them, capturing every minute of their adventure on camera.

After some more time, Anna reluctantly let go of Benjamin and looked into his eyes. She saw desire and craving. Being so close to him, smelling his skin and hair almost drove her crazy, and she knew that if she didn’t back off now, she was entitled to make a mistake she was going to regret for a long time. No, Benjamin was not her boyfriend – Jo was! Jo was waiting for her, at his place, with a glass of champagne in his hand, because, in fact, it was their one-year-anniversary today. This wasn’t right. This was never right.

Very late that night, Anna could be spotted with a brunette guy, making out behind the bushes that separated the street from her tiny house.

Author's notes:  Anna is back! There is so much going on in her life, that it was high time to let you be a part of it again. And I think I'm ready to do that. Writing her story felt right, for the first time in what feels like ages, and I even had fun. Seems like I'm back, as well. :)

Some hilarious OUTTAKES I couldn't hide, that didn't make it into the chapter:

"Can't breathe... can't breathe..."

Anna is exhaling hearts. Or Chuck is smoking one, I can't really decide.

A "small" water-balloon Oo